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| My family makes me happy. | | |
| In the corner of my room sits a chair,
It should be for reading,
I pile clothes on top of it.
How hard is it to hang clothes up?
I lie awake at night and read,
Not in the chair but in my bed,
I prefer to read not rest there.
How hard is it to fall asleep?
Instead I sleep in the day
Wandering around and doing my chores
I walk around, my days a nightmare
How hard is it to be awake? | | |
| There are countless things i wish I could write... | | |
| I think if I could have access to any Biblical character, on a daily basis, it would be Joseph (this is of course excluding Jesus). I have the craziest dreams and would love an occassional interpretation.
Last night I dreamed I was an actor in a show or movie, that detail was blurry. But the kicker was that I wasn't a human, I was an Ape. No, I don't mean dressed up like an Ape, I was actually an Ape, like in Planet of the Apes. The scene, which was real danger not pretend, was I was running with a child Ape from a stampede of Elephants trying to kill us. I was running and jumping with incredible speed, but they still kept coming closer and closer. Then the baby Ape fell and became a Zebra and I had to go back and carry it to safety, risking my own life. Then the details become fuzzy, something with safari trucks and people wanting to help the Animals.
Wierd. | | |
| I did it. I stood up for what was right, and I stood up for myself. I quit my job! Doing this has been such a long nightmare, that when it was all over and I had made all the phone calls, I shouted for joy in my car. Seriously, I screamed audibly in my vehicle. I felt as if this bear trap had been released from around my spirit. All the reasons that I left is just a huge story, but the base reason is... happiness. I couldn't do it anymore. No community, fear, masks, void. So here I stand... jobless, bills to pay, no clue what to do next, yet peace is walking with me. A sense of self comes over me. This will be a year of growth. Different note entirely: my childhood best friend got married today. I didn't go, I lied to get out of going. I couldn't do it. It just all would have been some terrible movie with a non movie ending. It's interesting as parts of you die. They just fall off. It's really a good thing. Dead things should be removed and burned. I feel like I have alot to burn. Just silly things held on to. A dead branch will never bear fruit. I'm cutting branches and wanting new ones to burst forth. I do hate using that analogy of branches, it is so Biblical, it's how I was raised though. | | |
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